Essa notícia eu achei muito interssante principalmente por se tratar exatamente de algo que venho sentindo nos últimos tempos, que é o luto.

Eu estudei a questão do luto na faculdade em vários outros aspectos da vida, além do luto pela morte, mas nunca imaginei que fosse vivencia-lo dessa forma tão inusitada, que é a morte da identidade.

Adapting to a new culture is like grieving a death
Helgi Eyford, For Neighbours
Published: Thursday, January 31, 2008

"They're in Canada now, why don't they just adapt?" This has to be the most common thing I hear when I talk to people born in Canada about the increasing number of immigrants in Calgary.

"Life in Canada is a lot harder than I ever imagined." This has to be the most common thing I hear when I talk to people who have immigrated to Canada. Most immigrants want very much to adapt to Calgary but adapting to a new culture is a lot harder than it seems. And I can't help but think that there is more we can do to help them adapt.

As hard as it is for many immigrants just to get to Canada in the first place (you try dealing with Immigration Canada), the real difficulty starts when they finally arrive. Immigrants must learn new rules and new strategies for getting the things they need. In effect, they have to reconstruct their social identities.
spoke with Zuraida Dada-Ramdin, an industrial psychologist who arrived in Canada 22 months ago. "The hardest challenge for an immigrant is the question of a new identity. Most people don't really care about you, since you volunteered to come here," she says.

It turns out that the hardest time for an immigrant is around the two-year mark. That is when all the glitter of the new country has faded and the reality of how difficult it is has sunk in.

Zuraida's research and personal experience has led her to see similarities between the immigration process and the grieving process. "The immigrant goes through the same stages as someone who is grieving -- denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance."

At first you deny how difficult the move will be. "My sister back home told me it was a mistake. I needed to be in denial to sell all my stuff and justify my decision to come here." After the initial honeymoon period, you begin to experience how difficult it is to get the things you need, like a job.

Zuraida said that it is hard not to get angry when you can't even get in the door to get an interview for a job because of your name or your lack of Canadian experience.

Coming from South Africa, she is used to this and takes it as a challenge rather than something to get angry about.

"When you grow up in this skin, you learn to be adaptable," she says.

In trying to make sense of their new world, people resort to bargaining (with a higher power, for example). People will say things like "Oh God! Show me a sign that this is right and I will stay one more year."

Depression can set in for some when the true difficulty of adapting to the new culture sinks in. "People will doubt that they are doing the right thing." Eventually, if people can endure the first two years, they will begin to develop their new identity and have more success.

What can we do to help? Play! Culture is way too complex to try to explain logically. (Explaining the delayed offside rule in hockey is hard enough, let alone how a person should behave in a job interview). And most of the really important rules are implicit and unspoken anyway.

The best thing we can do is involve immigrants in the games we play and the stories we tell. What better way to learn about Canadian attitudes and rules than to participate in a game of ball hockey or to read a novel by Margaret Atwood, or to watch a minor league hockey game on Saturday morning.
© The Calgary Herald 2008